he thought i was a dude.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
