Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
