Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
