it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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