Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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