I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
