So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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