Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
