Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize