There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
