3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
