I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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