Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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