he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
