Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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