I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
