she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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