i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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