I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also, beer. Big fan.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
