Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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