if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
