i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
