i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
