let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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