Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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