im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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