sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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