I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
