I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
