So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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