Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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