yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
