i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
