He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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