I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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