the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
