my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
