Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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