I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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