Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
