It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize