My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
