you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
