Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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