Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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