a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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