What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
