apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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