"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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