My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize