If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
