no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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