I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
