so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
love makes seman taste better
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
