My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
