Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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