Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
